For the clients who seek out LaQueshia Clemons, a licensed clinical social worker and accredited financial counselor, debt is about more than just dollars and cents — it's emotional.
"I'm seeing high anxiety, lots of worries; sometimes it's sleepless nights," says Clemons, the founder of Connecticut-based Freedom Life Therapy and Wellness. "They're constantly thinking about money and worrying about what's going to happen next."
Unfortunately, Clemons' clients aren't alone. Carrying debt can have wide-reaching emotional implications, affecting everything from personal well-being to romantic relationships, according to a survey by personal finance company Achieve and Money.com. The survey found that nearly half of the 2,000 Americans surveyed have experienced anxiety or trouble sleeping because of their debts. About one in four have had intimacy challenges with their partner due to financial stress.
"People forget that money is very emotional," Clemons says.
Debt can make people feel hopeless
Too often, Clemons' clients feel hopeless about escaping debt. That's common, too: About 43% of the people surveyed by Achieve said they're hopeless about their financial situation.
Clemons understands why. People are "just mentally drained from always having to juggle and figure out their next money moves," she says.
To give her clients hope, she shares her own debt story. By age 24, she says, she had about $35,000 in credit card debt, an amount that felt "so debilitating and overwhelming for me."
As she reflected on her debt, she realized that her own mother had a lot of unresolved trauma from growing up in poverty, and that was impacting the financial lessons Clemons had internalized.
Yet Clemons knew that she could change her behaviors. She became dedicated to paying off her debt and kept strict boundaries, like having a small backyard wedding to avoid using credit cards. By the time she was 32, five years ago, her debt was paid off.
"It's a long journey," she says, "but over time you're going to see the light at the end of the tunnel."
Shame breeds avoidance and isolation
Emotions around money impact financial behaviors, for better or worse, says Cohen Taylor, a behavioral wealth specialist at Mission Wealth in Atlanta. Debt often causes shame — about 39% of people surveyed by Achieve say they've felt embarrassed about their financial situation.
"There's a dynamic with shame where it thrives in silence," Taylor says.
People who are embarrassed about their debt are less likely to talk about it, Taylor says. They isolate, not talking with friends and family about the stressors, and not reaching out to professionals who may be able to help them with options like a repayment plan or debt consolidation. Avoidance — perhaps not even looking at card balances — is another common response to shame, Taylor says.
Ultimately, avoidance and isolation can make debt worse, because they contribute to "reactive behavior rather than proactive behavior," she continues.
People might pay off whichever debt creditors are calling without thinking about a comprehensive plan. Or, they may become too restrictive in their spending, "sacrificing basic needs or the opportunity for joy as penance for not making good choices," Taylor says.
Debt can make mental health challenges worse
Sometimes, debt is undeniably intertwined with mental health challenges. Emily Mendez, founder of Indiana-based Priceless Copy, took out a business loan in 2022, just before she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. At the time, she had grandiose plans for expansion, but looking back she can see that manic thinking fueled her decision to take out the loan.
"I wouldn't normally take on that much debt," she says.
When she wasn't able to make payments on the loans, she "just felt hopeless," she says. "Like, how can I deal with this? What can I do?"
The weight of debt made her recovery more complicated.
"I was already fairly anxious," Mendez says, "so the financial problems caused a lot of anxiety and made things worse mentally."
Start recovering by dealing with shame around debt
The first step in dealing with debt is confronting shame, Taylor says. Shame can eat away at your sense of self, so it's important to separate yourself from your finances.
"The debt is the problem. You are not the problem," Taylor says. "It's not a reflection of your self-worth. This debt is information that can be a guide toward creating a plan."
Next, consider the root causes of your debt. What were you trying to achieve or protect with the spending? Noticing patterns around how you spend money, Taylor says, can help you avoid a debt cycle in the future.
Having the right mindset is important during the sometimes daunting process of paying off debt. Begin by interrupting negative thought patterns, like blaming yourself for debt. Then, reframe the solution: a budget can be viewed as restrictive, or it can be seen as a tool to control money and create more freedom, Taylor says.
Most people — 82%, according to the Achieve survey — say that paying debts on time is a priority. Processing the emotional toll of debt is a step toward that goal.
"It's really about more than the money," Taylor says. "It's what debt says about you, or what you think it says about you."
